Perca-perca Kehidupan

Why can't I just let it go? I've been plagued with this issue for weeks. Tried every tricks in the book. But still nothing coming out of it. Well not really. There was this voice telling me to LET IT GROW. Puzzling, really. I asked for enlightenment but I got more questions. Like I have nothing else to do. THANK.YOU.VERY.MUCH. As I traced back to the beginning, memories start pouring. We did talk about future or at least what appealing most to us. But not much about NOW. What we expect from each of us. Not to mention about a long night of past confessions and occasionally doubts about the relationship (I wonder why). So what's it there about US? The TO-GET-HER thing? Nothing, isn't it? So why would I bother letting go something, when there's nothing to let go? DUH! In spite of everything, the voice inside came back to me. Not whispering but screaming: LET IT GROW! After much toss and toil, now I understand the message. Isn't it just about time for me to think wh...

I knew J.K. Rowling would write another book after her best-selling Harry Potter series. Since I missed all the media announcements, I only found out she finally did release something after I saw her book today on display (where else if not Popular Book Store?). The price for hardcover was RM 109. I was about to buy it but on a second thought, I think I'd better not. Not that I haven't got any cash, but I already spent a fortune for something else yesterday. Some for mini perfumes (Black XS + Star Walker). And some other to book tickets to Kuching (belum gaji lagi yea). If I kept on spending like Maharajah I might as well live on carpet to survive soon. Yet there's hope. Get a cheaper version! Like paperback. Hopefully it will be out in few months. Meanwhile be patient.

It was two months before any plan could take off that I decided to discontinue with the trip. I never reasoned why really, lest to rationalize my rather strange decision. Not that I didn't care, but I only followed my own guts. Little did I know back then, September wasn't the right time. Something coming up. New things surfacing. Taking a jinx position was likely more important than conquering the highest peak of Borneo at the time. Later on, I heard the trip was cancelled (or rather postponed next year). This was, at least a good news to me. Meaning I could still be allowed to rejoin the original trip again some time next year with the same group of friend. Now I'm back in my element, my head is busy hatching many new plans. On top of everything else in 2013, Mount Kinabalu is one of my priorities.

The realization that future is not ours to decide, made me thinking lately. Maybe the answer I was looking for is already there. Maybe I simply overlook the fact that I usually got what I need, instead of what I want. Or maybe if I allowed the present to grow on its own, I might found the future I'm looking for. Maybe what I really need right now - NOTHING ELSE - is just to BELIEVE. To believe that there's something good will come out from this, eventually.

Bad times? Wrong choice? Just about time, I received two shirts from Zalora. One is slim fitted (not visible in the picture). If everything went well, I'll be wearing this one on my BD bash. The other one, had to be returned. Not in the size I ordered. Why the long face?

The direction was clear, NO DIY: Get someone to cut it for you. But NOT me! If I can do it myself. I can save some! Ironically, I ended up paying more than the expected RM 10. Today for the first time I went to Maxis Center (at Warisan Plaza) for Simcard replacement. "Yg besar tapi boleh potong, RM 10 atau yg sedia kecil tapi bayar lebih." "Yg kecil lah..." Poor guy blinked twice before telling me the price, "RM 25 yea, Encik..." I thought they would asked something. What happen to your Simcard for example? Did someone steal your handphone? No sir. Nothing. No fuss. No chit-chat. IC, please. Right thumb, please. Complete this form, please. Then, click, click, click... And more click, click, click... Mute person would have been more fun to talk to.  "Ada satu lagi yg saya perlu encik tolong... Please send 5 to 20002." After such hassle, now I can use my Samsung Galaxy S3 happily. But stupid me, I forgot to ask my contacts to be imported to the new...

Or in my case, spend your money on what you don't need. Why I rebel this time? Cuz I LOVE YOU. Presenting my new gadget.

"Are you from West?", was Mark first question. "Mark ni dulu FOM di Le Meredian. Sudah resign", added Nora who doing the introduction. Its funny how two people meet. Always from the same community, similar industry. I'm no exception to this. "Le Meridian? But why?", I asked in the mix of awe and surprise. Mind you, Le Meridian is a five star hotel. Compared to us, we're nothing. "Tujuh tahun sudah kerja sana. Lama bah sudah...", was the official answer, but Nora revealed more later. Nora and Mark browsed something at ebay. While them at that, I ordered Beef Stew.  Felt like I could eat a whole horse tonight! "Sudah sebulan I'm jobless. Boring bah di rumah. Bolehkah saya jadi FOM di sini?" Is this a joke or what? FOM sounds like a million better job, but here its equivalent to mine. If only. As I put down my cutlery, Nora asked me to join her at Garden Sea Front. Our guests having barbeque dinner over there. We've done th...

What a lucky day! I bumped into Princess and Romeo. It has been over a month since I've seen them. After Nora dropped me at Wawasan, I went looking for shear scissors. My hair need trimming and I don't have proper tools. Luckily I didn't find the shear scissors at Wawasan. So CP here I come. Just I left Daiso, I saw a woman in black wandering about. She looked very familiar. As we got closer, my memories returned. Princess had her long dark hair cut into Bob. Thats why she looked so different. But still pretty as usual. We exchanged few words before parting. "Kenapa kau ni. Kurus sudah..." Constantly deprived from beauty sleep, I could be easily mistaken as a sick person. "Hai, apa khabar? Sihat?", asked Romeo when he came into view. "Sihat tapi makan hati..."

Just checked-in. Will be on duty tonite, until eight tomorrow morning. Cool down first, then shower. Room price: RM 174.

经过你的眼睛 那只红色的狐狸 穿过你的心 那只银色的狐狸 忽远忽近捉摸不定 它来无踪去无影 那是谁留下的脚印 深得永恒浅得天真 那是谁闪过的化身 红得热烈 啊白得单纯 难道传说你都信 谎话你都听 爱人是救星 还是要你的命 难道传说你都信 谎话你都听 毒药你都饮 只要心愿意 只要心愿意

Another sleepless night. Since deactivating my account (some permanently), I left with nothing much to do, but tons to think about. "Tengok muvie mcm saya", suggested Rosmaria. My first selection was a very old Japanese movie dubbed into English, The Last Eight Samurai. Not to my taste I settled with  a gay-themed movie, Testosterone (2003). My sympathy went straight to Dean. While ironing my shirt for work (today) - mine you at three am - I was thinking about flying over to Kuching. A perfect treat for my 34th birthday, I thought. I haven't booked anything yet. And my birthday is in less than two weeks. "Sabarlah. Kau pigi lepas GEMS", Suzie recommended. Perhaps she was right. But then what should I do? "Activate bah akaun kau..." I pulled the tooth but what I'm really losing right now was my very own support system. Following Nora advice, I reactivated my account (plus a new blog). So here I am.